Thursday, 25th March 2010: What's a SoundCloud? We're not sure but it is free and you can now download/listen to BfG songs on it.
We've included some of the songs we think are the 'sweetcorn amongst our turd'. You can download them all in the Tunes section anyway so it's hardly big news for anyone reading this but maybe it'll generate a handful of listens we wouldn't have otherwise.
If you wish to look at the brand spanking new Bitchfinder Genital page on SoundCloud, please click here or on the wee picture just above. Or, come to think of it, you can go to the Greeting section (which you get to initially from clicking on the picture on the front page or the words 'Bitchfinder Genital' at the bottom of the 'television') and choose the SoundCloud link there.
We're terrible 'free website music posting' slatterns.
Saturday, 7th November 2009: That nice Barry chap, from Hundredweight and the homunculus, has done a cover of a Bitchfinder Genital song which doesn't even exist yet. Isn't he clever (and less lazy than us)! The tune in question is Bronx Cheer and you can hear Barry's version of it here or in the Tunes section.
Perhaps you'll listen to it and think "Hmmm, Barry should do all Bitchfinder Genital's tunes as he does much better versions of them". Please remove such thoughts from your head immediately. Use trepanning if necessary. Even if such thoughts are most likely correct, please ignore them.
Saturday, 22nd August 2009: Like shopping? Like Bitchfinder Genital? Well, one out of two ain't bad. Not as good as Meatloaf's 'hit rate' but we'll take it where we can get it. Anyway, why are we asking you these questions? Well, it's because we now have an in house Bitchfinder Genital 'shop' of sorts.
Okay, it's not a shop at all. It's some stuff we've got which is Bitchfinder Genital related and (to this point) we'll send you for free. So far, we've got a few badges, downloads of our musical attempts and stickers (have a look for yourself).
Is there anything else you would like us to add to our shop? We would love to get some t-shirts printed up but we're not made of money and would have to charge about £5 a pop for them (including the shipping). Would that interest you? Please get in touch and let us know. If there's any interest in it, we'll get some t-shirts printed up.
So, what does all this mean for our old Cafe Press shop? You didn't even know about it? Hmmph! The Cafe Press shop is still running every bit as much as it ever was and you can have a look at it here. It'll keep on running (just like The Spencer Davis Group) and can be accessed from a link (at the top of the page) in our shop.
We hope this is all to your pleasing.
Friday, 31st July 2009: More tenuous so called Bitchfinder Genital so called news again.
Remember Hundredweight? You know that band which wrote that song we covered? Barking Dogs? No? Either way, one of Hundredweight is called Barry. Barry is a nice man. He is also going to team up with 3Ply from Bitchfinder Genital as the homunculus. Apparently they're going to record a few silly covers and try to fob that off as a band. Kids today, eh! Please go and have a look at their stupid minimalist pretentious website and spit in their faces. For some reason, 3Ply has chosen to use the ridiculous 'rock name' of 'Chris' for the homunculus. What's up with that?
In actual Bitchfinder Genital related news, we've got a tune stuck up online. It's Surf's Down and you can see/listen to it at the Zombi Music Website (yes, we know you've heard it many times before). Zombi Music appears to be nothing to with the band Zombi or any actual zombies living or undead (as the old joke goes). Zombi Music (as far as we can tell) seems to be an effort to help promote music by bands from Northern Ireland. Hey! We're from Northern Ireland and we're kind of a band, sort of. That's us! Thank you Zombi Music.
Lastly and even less Bitchfinder Genital related than the earlier efforts, 3Ply/Chris/whatever crazy name he's going under now has started a blog web thing at FreakyGuitars.co.uk. It is very much in its infancy and not very interesting yet (despite featuring a couple of guitars which look like 'steak rifles') or freaky for that matter, so please have a look, write something yourself and make it better than it is.
Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, 1st July 2009: Not content with dredging up the works of Spanorak for you, with thanks/un-thanks to Splatt, we now bring you another blast from the past. This one is in the form of Soggy Biscuit. Again, it's 3Ply's (aka Chris) fault.
The two songs here both have 3Ply on bass and vocals with Splatt (aka Dadgad) responsible for the guitar playing and drum programming. As far as memory works, these are slightly rougher four track recordings than some others we should have.
The other tapes must be lying about in a box somewhere in someone's roofspace. If we can unearth them, we'll put them up instead. They don't have a (seemed humorous at the time) 'mockney' accent in the first song and unwanted distortion and a stupid backwards bit, which doesn't work, in the second song. If we can find the master tape for them, we'll get rid of the count ins and try to make the vocals audible.
I'm sure you know the drill by now: Listen to/Download the songs below and/or in the Tunes section. Thank you.
Spides Like Us Download (right-click and 'Save As/Save Link As') The Alien's Foot Download
Wednesday, 17th June 2009: Nothing new with Bitchfinder Genital we're sorry to report. However, you may have read a mention (somewhere in this website) of the effort, which 3Ply Stagliano used to be in, called Spanorak. If not, you're probably all the better for it.
Thanks to unpopular lack of demand, a friend of ours converted the old (now seventeen years ago) Spanorak 'demo' (used in a very loose manner) tape into mp3 and stuck it up on a Spanorak page he made on LastFM. You can also listen to and download them both below and in the Tunes section, although quite why you might want to is beyond us.
You might think some/all Bitchfinder Genital stuff is pretty badly recorded but wait 'til you get a load of Spanorak. Almost every song starts with heavy feedback and it wasn't close to deliberate. Still, it was fun at the time.
The one *ahem* 'demo' tape which Spanorak did was called 'Jimmy The Evil Chin Scum Made Me Sick', retailed at 50 pence (probably too much, even including the blank tape) and had the following tunes on it:
Cat in a Washing Machine Download (right-click and 'Save As/Save Link As') P.W. Download Depression Goes On Download Nip the Bud Download Thinking of Dinner Download Voice of Apathy Download Acid Yawn Download Song for the Spides Download If you're looking the Spanorak songs up in the Tunes section, good luck with some of the lyrics. We weren't sure what they were. Oh, and be kind. We were much younger and more naive at the time. They might be less than complete when you're looking at it. We'll have to contact other ex-Spanorak members to see if they can remember what they were.
Another news item unrelated to Bitchfinder Genital is; we've bought the web address FreakyGuitars.co.uk and will be doing a website there. At the moment, it's just a placeholder but we hope to get pictures of lots of vaguely interesting guitars there, some 'freakier' than others. We might not be able to play a guitar or know much about them but we do enjoy looking at them.
Wednesday, 27th May 2009: Do you like sticking something to something else? If so, you're in the right place. We got a few wee Bitchfinder Genital stickers printed up, for your 'sticking to stuff' pleasure. You can see the design to the left of this spiel. If you would like one (or more) of them, please get in touch (with your postal details) and we'll post them out to you. Needless to say, they're free.
We still have some of our little button badges left as well. They are, of course, free too. The badges come in three different designs: star, silhouette and ringed. As with the stickers, get in touch and we'll send you some if you like.
If we ever get to the point of actually playing gigs, bring on the t-shirts. Unfortunately that's merely a dream at the moment.
Saturday, 16th May 2009: Please accept our apologies for not having done anything new for a long time. We've been slabbering about this new recording of Ulmunshketayfa we're supposed to be doing but we're lazy swines (possibly not a great word to use at the moment given what it immediately makes one think of). We haven't lifted a finger to do any more of it since recording the drums and bass. Damn us slackjawed good for nothings!
Despair not however (as if you would) as we've kind of got a new tune of sorts kind of but not really. We sent that nice Dadgad gent some (very crappy) drums and he 'polished our drum turd' by writing a tune to go with them (I think the bit between 1m 37s and 1m 44s is particularly lovely).
Dadgad hasn't completed it yet (he may add some vocals etc. at some point in the future) and hasn't given it a title. Foolishly, he has let us do it. Hence, this (currently instrumental) piece shall be known as (until Dadgad changes it) Please Expectorate Into My Cuspidor [But Make Sure You Wipe It Afterwards]. Here it is:
As is common practice, you can download it from the Tunes section.
When Dadgad does the finished piece, we'll replace the old version with the new. You merely have to listen. Actually, you don't even have to do that. We would like it if you do.
Sunday, 10th 2009: Remember the tune Barking Dogs? It was our version of a song by Hundredweight? What, really, you don't remember it? I don't know why I bother.
You can download a copy of Barking Dogs from those lovely folks at NI Chart. Additionally, you can download lots of different tunes by various bands and soloists from Northern Ireland. Best of all, it seems to be completely free. Innit marvellous!
You can, of course, still download all our tunes from the Tunes section of this website but downloading from NI Chart will make us seem more popular.
For more info about NI Chart, please click here and for the downloads, please click here.
Wednesday, 15th April 2009: We've a couple of wee news-ish pieces to give a mention to here.
First things first: We've bought the web address www.Bitchfinder.co.uk (the .com had already gone and BfG.com and .co.uk were long out of our reach). If the world of online web forwarding is working the way it should, going to Bitchfinder.co.uk should now bring you to the front page of this website. Isn't modern science amazing!
The other bit of news is that 3Ply Stagliano has got a bit tired of playing with himself. The actual playing isn't too bad but the company is lousy.
With this in mind, are you interested on making some lovely music with Bitchfinder Genital? In an ideal world, we would be cavorting musically with so many people we could use you for a couple of songs and then cast you aside like an old rag. Well maybe not quite that, but it would be nice to have musical input from lots of different people to try to get the music sounding quite fresh and stop any stale smells building up.
If this sounds like an even vaguely attractive notion to you, please get in touch via the little 'Comment(s)' link and share your thoughts.
You don't have to be someone geographically nearby to make music (although it's very pleasant when one can meet the people s/he is 'musicing' with). Thanks again to the wonders of modern science, the common man (or woman) may now create music with someone on the other side of the globe. Here's hoping we hear from some enthusiastic punters.
Wednesday, 25th March 2009: It's funny. Well. It's not amusing and probably won't seem even slightly odd either but it struck us as a bit 'funny'. Much as we might like to witter here about basically nothing (and flit between first person singular and first person plural while doing so) we often don't bother writing about things which may be construable as being vaguely musically related.
For example, we weren't going to bother mentioning that we're currently working on a few new tunes and have recorded part of a reworking of an old tune. Somehow we're all for mentioning that we forgot to promote a link on our website but not that we might actually have some new music for you. Huh? Let's remedy this now...
Do you remember the tune Ulmunshketayfa, which we did about two and a half years ago? Well, it's getting a facelift and will be back with a vengeance. That's the premise anyway. We were never happy with the recording of the drums in it so, now we've got our lovely electronic kit (which makes recording drums very easy indeed) we decided to redo it. So far, we've got the drums and bass recorded and should be recording the other bits and bobs soon. It's not going to be hugely different from the original, just (we hope) better recorded.
Outside reworking an old tune, we've got another few ideas in the pipeline. Whether they come to fruition or burn up under the hot rays of the sun is yet to be seen. At the back recesses of your mind, save a space for the (stolen from the usual obvious places) names; Green Cheese Roll, Death equals Adder and Demons to Diamonds. Fingers crossed, there may be some Bitchfinder Genital songs with those names in the coming weeks/months/years.
Oh, and we've ordered a new guitar. Here's hoping they can supply one. Stocks are low. It must be great being in a successful band where instrument companies are begging you to use their instruments, rather than finding oneself well out of pocket buying them.
Thanks for reading. It wasn't 'so' bad now was it?
Monday, 23rd March 2009: Oopses to us. Just realised something we should have pointed out earlier but didn't.
See the way this website now looks a bit like an old telly? Right. Well, down at the bottom of the 'TV', near the middle, it says 'bitchfinder genital'. In case you didn't know, that's a link. If you click on it, you'll be brought to this page. It's a kind of greeting/welcome/introduction page (which you can also get to by clicking on the star on this page). As well as the welcoming words, it has links to our pages at MySpace, Bebo, GigaHitz, Virb, Kerchoonz, SoundClick and ReverbNation. We reckon these webpages combine to get about two dozen hits a week (all of which are us looking at MySpace ourselves). That's at least a dozen times the traffic this website gets. w00t! (apparently this is a nerdier form of 'huzzah').
So, now you know where the links to our various external webpages are, if you didn't already. Infomercial over.
Sunday, 22nd March 2009: Well, whoopity frickin' doo! Victory to 'HMS Bitchfinder'!
At the longest of lasts, we've managed to get BitchfinderGenital.com transferred over so we have access to it fully again. Despite the best efforts (or more the lack thereof) of Lycos, normal service has been resumed.
Funnily enough the website appears to have worked okay, even throughout all our problems. It seems 'normal service' didn't stop in order to be resumed at all. We're liars! Whatever the case, it should be working for now and into the foreseeable future. We can now breathe out happy that the one or two people who ever read this will have no hiccups to contend with (we hope).
Please enjoy BitchfinderGenital.com you sexy piglets.
Saturday, 28th February 2009: Hi there. Despite our attempts (they have ignored four e-mails from us) we've been having trouble with Lycos. 'Who cares and what does it mean to me?' I hear you cry. Well, the annoyance is they are the company which supplies the web address www.BitchfinderGenital.com.
As such, it seems We might have to switch to one of the other address we have (www.BitchfinderGenital.co.uk or www.BitchfinderGenital.info) until we can get the .com sorted out with a new company. It's a pain in the arse which could have been avoided completely if Lycos bothered even attempting to help us.
The long and short of this tale of woe is that BitchfinderGenital.com might not work as a web address for a while. If it isn't working, please use BitchfinderGenital.co.uk or BitchfinderGenital.info. Please left-click here to add BitchfinderGenital.co.uk to your bookmarks.
Having written all that, BitchfinderGenital.com 'might' keep working throughout so it's still worth giving it a go just in case. Fingers crossed please everyone.
Just while we've got you and are already writing about web nerding, we've changed the wee 'Info' and 'Lyrics' windows in Tunes so they look a little different and should be less annoying now. You have to close them at your own discretion now. It used to be all too easy to close them by accident before.
Tuesday, 25th February 2009: Yet another 'webnote'. We've got www.BitchfinderGenital.info now (for a year as it was 99 pence). It'll bring you here as well as .com and .co.uk.
Think we're dirty liars? Try it out for yourself then. We're not liars but we are dirty (in terms of having poor hygiene).
While we've got you, have a wee look around Images and you'll see some more silly new images courtesy of PhotoFunia and another couple of photos of instruments and amps. Happy browsing!
Saturday, 22nd February 2009: As has been the case a few times lately, this is a general website update news piece.
Right, what do we mention? Oh yes, we added a few new photos to our Images and About sections. It's mainly instruments we didn't have photos of before. We've still to take photos of more of our stuff but we're getting a bit closer to 'completion'.
We also cut out some of the babble in our About section. In general, we're trying not to witter quite so much on this website. Wish us luck. There are now photos in with the instrument (etc.) lists on the About page. Clicking on the names of most of our equipment should reveal a photo of it and a link to the manufacturer's website. We hope we weaned out most of the 'dead' links too. Unfortunately manufacturers are changing their websites so regularly, we can't possibly keep on top of it. Well, we possibly could but it's really boring and time consuming.
You might notice that we also changed the look of the wee tune player we use for playing individual tunes (the players on the Tunes page have remained as they were). We hope you like it better. It was easy to get and install but we made long work of it because we're stoopid.
Do you remember the Traps electronic drum kit we used to have? Well, we're pleased to say it has found a new home and some cash has found its way into our grubby hands as a result. The very lovely Darryl from Hundredweight has 'won out' as the highest bidder (out of one) and will be making sweet music with it from now on. I hope they live a long and happy life together. If you only checked this website to watch that drum kit's progress, you can now find it at Hundredweight.co.uk.
Oh, and we stuck some new items in our 'shop'.
I think that covers everything. Thanks for taking time out to read this little blabber.
Friday, 13th February 2009: Unlucky for some today, if your idea of bad luck is a new look Bitchfinder Genital website that is!
C'mon, you had to have noticed by now. How did you get this far without noticing? You had to use a new menu just to get here. Oh well...
So what's new? Content wise, it's much the same but it looks like a telly now. 'Why a telly?' I hear you cry. Quite simply, it's because we (as with most people) enjoy television and, besides, it lends itself well to a website design.
One minor change is that Old News now opens in a new window and hasn't been changed (which is more of a 'non-change' than a 'change' ). EDIT: We did change the look of Old News after all. That makes us look like a bunch of liars.
We hope you like the new look. Please let us know what you think and tip us off if anything isn't working properly. We think we tested it all but aren't entirely sure.
Tuesday, 10th February 2009: We've got our second effort, Dadgad vs Bitchfinder Genital, uploaded to our webspace now. If you would like to download it (complete with all the various images etc.) please click here.
As Dadgad vs Bitchfinder Genital is only half Bitchfinder Genital, it can't be all bad. If you have any problems with downloading it, writing it onto a CD etc. please let us know and we'll do our best to fix things.
While we've got you, we should let you know we've added a couple of items into our CafePress shop (which nobody ever goes to and we forgot about for ages). As we're always intent on pointing out, it's a wee shop thing run by CafePress and we don't make anything out of it whatsoever. Presumably they would make a profit if anybody was to buy anything (as is only fair) but we absolutely definitely one hundred percent don't. We also can't vouch for the quality of the items as we've not bought any of them ourselves (but might).
EDIT: We initially typed the Dadgad vs Bitchfinder Genital link in incorrectly (we left out the second 'd' in Dadgad). We're wild stoopid hey! It is now fixed.
Friday, 6th February 2009: We've been stupid again. I know that's not news in itself but the reason is worth noting.
You may have noticed how we had a little item about, our collection of megahits, Eat a Slice of Cake now being available to download and how the file contains all the pictures etc. we used. Well, we forgot that we used a non-standard font for some of it. The font we used is called voxBOX and you can download it here. It's free to download for personal usage and should make the packaging look the way it was intended.
Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes for the music itself. It will remain as is. Sorry about that.
If you have any bother, please contact us and we'll sort it out.
Monday, 2nd February 2009: It's been brought to our attention that NUMBER ONE music may well be/pretty definitely is a scam.
A friend of ours did the tiniest little iota of research on it (ie. an internet search about it) and it seems people have had bad experiences with it. I've got to admit to being totally taken in by it. I wrote back to the e-mails from pretend interested parties (with no response obviously as they don't exist) and hoped their ridiculous hit counter wasn't reading on the high side. I thought it was unbelievably good but I'm naive and hopeful and wanted to believe it could be true. Alas, it turned out to be a load of lies.
You can look at various bits of music there but their claims to have 'so many' listens appear to be mere fiction and they seem to make up e-mails, which they send to bands, to keep up the pretence of interest. I guess their idea must be that people will think 'That's brilliant! Look at all the hits I'm getting. It must be well worth signing up for the full package (ie. paying them money)'. What a bummer! It seems NUMBER ONE music is nothing but a load of 'number two'.
As far as we know, the other websites we did pages with are legitimate. That's why they're getting about a two-hundredth of the number of hits NUMBER ONE music was claiming and a fair amount more abuse. Our ignorance was blissful while it lasted. Back down to the miserable murky depths of reality for us then...
Sunday, 1st February 2009: As you can probably tell, we've signed Bitchfinder Genital up to another of those websites which we're not entirely sure how to refer to. ReverbNation is the 'lucky fellow' this time round.
Have you noticed how all these websites seem to like shoving words together and not using spaces between them? Should we be attempting to keep up to date by changing our name to 'BitchfinderGenital'?
It's quite possible we'll be whoring ourselves round the internet to more websites again soon so watch this space and see if our empire grows. Having written that, a couple of the websites we currently use (you know who you are) have turned out to be a bit of a waste of time for us and we might stop updating them soon. Certainly not NUMBER ONE music. The amount of hits we're getting there is exceptionally good, for us. If we're very lucky, we might find someone gets some enjoyment out of our music via NUMBER ONE music. That would be lovely.
Saturday, 31st January 2009: This is just another website update and one you probably wouldn't ever notice. We re-uploaded some of our downloadable mp3 files today so the information on them is correct. If you wish to download them, it now has band name, song title, album name etc. up to date. It should all come up in the information if you're playing them in an mp3 player or the like and be a little neater than it was in the past.
Friday, 30th January 2009: This is another website update for you.
A friend of mine (yes, I do have friends) mentioned to me about how we had a lot of tunes in our Tunes section. You know what? He's right. We do have quite a number of them. I couldn't help but notice though, it was a bit messy the way we had it put together. So, I decided to change it.
If you remember the way it was, we had a wee mp3 player on the page, a 'button' to open it in a new window and a list of all the various tunes we've done and bits of information and lyrical content. Well, we've still got pretty much all that but shuffled it about a bit. The idea is that it's now easier to navigate round and (we hope) promotes our more recent tunes whilst still enabling you to listen to the
auld shite'classics'.We've split it now so our more recent tunes are in the main player (as found on the page and opened using the top button) and the top info list. The older tunes (some of which we would like to re-do) and Bitchfinder Genital related tunes and songs by other people are now in a separate player and the information about them is in the second list. Does that make sense? Here's hoping so. It 'should' when you look at the Tunes page itself.
Happy listening to those 'nerdcore' sounds. Nerdcore you know the score and it's probably in binary.
UPDATE: (If it works) We've uploaded, the first Bitchfinder Genital CD, Eat a Slice of Cake to this website. The file is absolutely bloody enormous, at a whopping 339 megabytes, and took us about three hours to upload with our diabolically poor internet connection. It shouldn't take anyone with a semi-decent connection anything close to that to download.
If you're interested in getting yourself a copy of it, please click here. The file contains all the music and images required to put together your own copy of Eat a Slice of Cake but obviously you'll need your own paper, printer, CD case, scissors etc. If in doubt, please ask an adult to help you.
Being honest, a lot of it isn't great. Some of the tunes have a certain amount of unrealised promise, some are okay-ish and some are, at best, considerably less than average. Still, it is Bitchfinder Genital and was our first attempt at sticking music on a CD. We hope we've come on a little since then (in recording at least) but we still have a long way to go.
If you do download Eat a Slice of Cake, be sure to let us know. We'll get a kick out of it but probably more deserve a kicking for it.
Thursday, 29th January 2009: Continuing with Bitchfinder Genital's attempts to take over the world (Note to self: Don't make a 'same thing we do every night' joke. Oh dammit!) we have, again, let our tendrils explore further into the world of the internet. This comes in the form of two (yes, two) new webpage bits like we mentioned in the last news item. What are they called anyway? Social networking sites? Is that even right?
Whatever they're called, we now have staked our claim to two more of them in the form of SoundClick (which doesn't like the word 'bitch', understandably enough) and NUMBER ONE music.
As usual, they won't have the same blethering information and pointless updates one can expect to find here but they're more opportunities for people to listen to Bitchfinder Genital. For us, that should be a good thing. We expect most people to not like Bitchfinder Genital but it would be nice if some people do.
It's free music which we do for fun and would like other people to get some enjoyment out of it. Hopefully that enjoyment won't be merely from slabbering abuse at us. A lot of pointless internet geeks seem to enjoy doing that online. Constructive and thoughtful criticism is good but mindless abuse ain't great.
By the way, do the adverts display on SoundClick for you? They don't for us. Our bit works perfectly but the ads don't. Obviously that's fine by us but you would imagine it's where SoundClick's revenue comes from.
Before we go, we should thank, the lovely gent, Alan from Doom Train as he let us know about these websites. Hoorah for Alan!
Please have a look/listen at/to SoundClick and NUMBER ONE music as Bitchfinder Genital continues the quest for global domination. We'll not let this credit crunch hold us back. Full speed ahead it is cap'n...
Wednesday, 28th January 2009: In the ever expanding world which is Bitchcom Genitalcorp, we have branched out, spread our roots and performed various other tree related growth metaphors. That is to say, we've stuck ourselves on another of those MySpace type websites. In this case, the website in question is Kerchoonz.
It's pretty much the same idea as any websites of this ilk only (apparently) they might give the bands using it a little bit of cash every so often. I don't know how much or how often or even how we're supposed to get it but it's not at any expense to the downloading public and they seem to make all their money from advertising. That sounds good. If we make tuppence, that means we're professional musicians. Not only that, but we'll be amazed. Regardless of whether we ever earn a red cent from it or not, here is a link to Bitchfinder Genital at Kerchoonz.
We might stop updating the Bitchfinder Genital webpages at Bebo soon. So far, Bebo has been pretty useless for us. Nobody seems to have looked near it and we're forever deleting spam messages from make believe saucy ladies. You can't stalk someone who doesn't exist! What's the point in that?
Tuesday, 27th January 2009: We Bitchfinder Genital halfwits have (in addition to all the stoopid stuff we listed in various other news items) done a silly.
This time, we forgot to set up a new e-mail account when we changed our web hosting provider. As such, it appears our info@bitchfindergenital.com e-mail address has been on the fritz for the last week or so.
If you have tried to contact us via the above e-mail address, we apologise and beg you to send your e-mail(s) again. Sorry for the inconvenience our dumbassedness has caused. Hopefully it's working now (although it seems to keep deleting itself for no good reason).
Wednesday, 21st January 2009: We have put together another new tune for your listening pleasure. At least we hope it gives you pleasure. We enjoy it and that's good.
We call our new tune Portland Bay. Gawd bless it and all who sail in it. All being well, you might enjoy it. If nothing else, you'll get your money's worth. As usual, you can hear it below and/or download it here.
For anyone interested, we're thinking of redecorating. This website has been greener than green for a couple of years now and we think it might be about time it got a new 'paint job'. We're not going to do anything drastic about the code used in the website or anything like that (we don't know how) but might change the colour scheme a little. If you have any constructive ideas (ie. not abuse) please let us know your thoughts. We're not averse to a bit of plagiarism if you see a pleasing but simple website we could copy.
UPDATE: 22nd January 2009: We've stuck a little mp3 player on our introduction page. The premise is that each time we do a new song/tune, we'll put it there and keep it there until we have another new song/tune to replace it. Is it a good idea or stupid clutter we should get rid of? Please let us know.
ANOTHER UPDATE: 22nd January 2009: We have also put a little Lyrics link on the Tunes page (which took bloody ages and was exceptionally tedious). You can now read the filth we spout from our dirty mouths (just another day at the orifice). Some of the information there is a little lacking but it's mostly spot on. We couldn't remember the lyrics to some of our older songs and can't make them out now. Thankfully we've recently taken to writing lyrics, rather than our previous tactic of making them up as we go along, and had no problem getting the words for our more recent efforts.
Wednesday, 7th January 2009: Oops! The tunes player wasn't working. Sorry about that. Now it is.
UPDATE: We changed the Images section of this website. Is it an improvement or a step backward? That's up to you to decide. It was a tedious task, so please be kind about it.
UPDATE [part two]; 12th Jan 2009: We a bunch of divs and accidentally deleted a bit of code which makes the Images section work properly. It's back in now and everything should be working again. Sorry about that too.
Tuesday, 6th January 2009: (Extremely belated) Happy New Year to all you Bitchsketeers out there!
You may be wondering where the rest of the *ahem* news has disappeared off to. It's quite simple.
With the start of a new year, we decided to shove all the old news into, you guessed it, the Old News section. We're quite the geniuses. We're Bitchfinder Geniusesital. Em, not so sure about that. Nonetheless, now you know to look in Old News for the boring unimportant stuff you didn't want to read in the first place (apart from this boring unimportant bit you're reading right now).
Thanks for taking the time to read this and, again, a belated Happy New Year to you. Have a great one.
